Monday, February 1, 2010

mojo

who are mo and jo

and what do they have to do with my life?

Friday, January 29, 2010

clutter and crud

I have an issue with clutter. The main sections of the house, the down stairs areas are fine - tidy, cleanish and presentable.

The second floor, the private areas are less so. Disclaimer : it is not all mine. The two men in the house have a lot of computer gear and thousands of cords that seem to go along with that. Two daughters have moved out and left some. lots of their belongings. However, I can't blame anyone but husband and I for our bedroom.

I have lots of books and magazines - in two bookcases, beside my bed, on the floor. I also don't like to sort clean laundry so I often have a basket  or two of laundry in there to sort. Did I say it was a very large bedroom? Husband's share is that he travels a lot and neglects to unpack or put away suitcases when her returns. He just throws out the dirty clothes for launder and puts the suitcase on the bedroom floor for next time. At the moment there are two suitcases on the floor.

But wait there's more - I have a writing desk that looks out over the bushland near our house. Lovely spot to sit, but I can't. There are currently clothes over the chair and the desk is covered in my scrapbooking - which I have not touched for over a year!

How do we allow this to happen? I can cite a busy life, illness, lack of energy, abundance. However, despite all that, I know in my heart of hearts that my life would actually be better if I just got rid of come of the clutter - the crud of life.

Yesterday I left the air conditioner on in our bedroom all day as I intended to start work on our bedroom. I didn't. Today I am more motivated and so have left the airconditioner on again - it really is too hot to work in there without it during the day in the Australian summer heat. It is now 1.30 pm and I am yet to go up there and start on it and I am feeling bad about the waste of energy use with the air conditioners.

So as a last resort I am writing about it. If I write about it, I will commit to it and I will guilt myself into starting. Right?

Stay tuned. I may have to fall on my sword yet!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Hot HOT HOT!

It has been so hot, for so long, that it is really starting to become exhausting. I can't wait for autumn! I was pegging clothes out on the clotheslines today and husband called from his home office;

"My wife is one hot chick!"

As I had a large straw hat on, and perspiration streaming down my face I instantly knew what kind of "hot" he meant. Funny sod!  He was sitting under a ceiling fan and beside an aircooler! At that moment I was also imagining him spontaneously combusting...


Too much summer

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

night talk


Mr FD was sound asleep when he announced "After you get on the bus, what are you going to do then?"

I don't think he meant me, do you? I hit the road for no one.

what price to pay?

Would a jury convict me for murdering a husband who woke me in the night, not once, but twice, until I could not sleep and had to resort to coming downstairs at 4am?

I am willing to risk it.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Australia Day!


Australia Day, 26 January, is the anniversary of the arrival of the First Fleet of 11 convict ships from Great Britain, and the raising of the Union Jack at Sydney Cove by its commander Captain Arthur Phillip, in 1788 . Though 26 January marks this specific event, today Australia Day celebrations reflect contemporary Australia: our diverse society and landscape, On Australia Day we come together as a nation to celebrate what's great about Australia and being Australian




On Australia Day, many people attend either an organised community event, or get together with family and friends with the intention of celebrating our national day. Many more spend the public holiday relaxing with family and friends at the beach, playing cricket or going to the movies (air conditioning!)

Pull on your thongs [flip flops], chill the beer and kick back with us! Cheers, mate!

Sunday, January 24, 2010


I was thinking about my family's visit yesterday. As usual we ended up sitting in a group and just talking, the little people running in and out amongst us. It was a scene I have experienced since my childhood when we would visit my Grandparents. my mother's family. Every visit would  be the same, everyone would sit around the large dining table and gossip - about family, friends, the world. Eventually the men would wander outside for a drink or two, the children would play together in the yard and the ladies would continue their conversation. If Grandma, or any of my unmarried aunts had sewn a new dress or made a craft item it would be brought out and admired. Just before it was time to leave the ladies would take a tour of the garden to look at the flowers or new plant additions. Cuttings would always be shared and Mum would go home clutching a piece of this and that.

We replicate this tradition to this day - except now the men wander off to watch sports on television! It is like a continung thread that stitches the past and present generations together. Whenever a family member hears that the family is getting together and they have to be absent they all lament the fact that they will miss out on the group talk and guess what the subjects will be. We have a running joke that every family gathering ends with a conversation about bowels and it ususally does in some way or another! It makes the absentee homesick to know the others are together, even when imaginng a discussion on bowels! It is the anchor of the ever extending family.

It makes us, us. It is what binds us together, past and present, present and future. Family.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Being nice to people is so exhausting. Some of my family came to visit today, and while I love them and enjoy spending time with them, I find that after a few hours I am exhausted. It is all that being polite and nice and the unceasing effort of holding in my evilosity ... I just find it all so exhausting.

Maybe I need to take a nap half way through their visit, just to regain my strength and balance. Nice is hard work.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Quote

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Helen Keller 

Hi Ho Silver!

An old man in a motorised wheelchair just drove down the lane beside our house at breakneck speed, yelling "YaHoooooooo!" followed by three small children running to try and keep up with him.

Go Grandpa, GO!

butterfly kisses



Early this morning while I was watering my garden, a large black and white butterfly spent 3 or 4 minutes following me around the garden and dancing about my head. Once I thought it was going to sit on my nose (no comments about the possible size of my nose, please, Mr FD has already done that,,,and yet he still breathes). I think it was trying to say thank you for the garden and the water on what is another very hot dry summer's day.
I think it also proves beyond doubt that I am a goddess as even nature worships me!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

In reading, a lonely quiet concert is given to our minds; all our mental faculties will be present in this symphonic exaltation.
Stephane Mallarme, French poet (1842 - 1898).

Riddle me this, Joker

Why is Obama being blamed for a political system that works to hinder rather than help?

Why do people continue to allow themselves to be controlled by manufactured fear and demoralisation?

Why don’t we realise that we get the government that we vote in?

Why do people fear a socialised health system when it has proven to work so well in so many other countries?

When are we going to realise that most wars are the result of religion – and accept difference?

When are we going to stop listening to yelling media bullies who have sold out for celebrity and profit?

Why do we think playing with sticks is always better than playing with technology? Does no one remember being bored or lonely on summer vacation, or a winter weekend?

Why are the boomers always criticising the younger generations, when we are their parents and created them?

Why should the opinion of the individual rate higher than the needs of the many?

Why are we so ready to believe that climate change is false or a hoax? Wouldn’t a healthy earth by good no matter the reason?

Did people really learn anything from the recent economic crisis?

Why do women think we have to have 375 pairs of shoes?

Why do we keep going on about “my taxpayer’s money” – how far do we think our individual taxes actually go in the scheme of government spending? How many miles of road does it pay for on an individual basis? Would you be able to drive to the end of your street?

Why do so many men think that women victimise them, when they are functioning adults? It takes two to make an interaction.

Why do I ask questions at all?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

a bit this and a bit that


This vintage card is tacky and beautiful at the same time!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

stuff and nonsense





I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
  - Dr. Seuss

Monday, January 4, 2010

did you hear, that there were snakes?












Daughter 2 and I went to the movies - we saw Did you hear about the Morgans? with Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant. It is a romantic comedy, if you could call it romantic when they were already married at the story's start. It was quite enjoyable - Hugh Grant of course played Hugh Grant. It wasn't slap stick comedy which is often what one gets from Hollywood and Sarah Jessica's clothes were quite "normal". In all it was a very enjoyable afternoon, but it shouldn't cost $41AUS for 2 adult movie tickets and 2 diet cokes. Maybe if they spent a little less on "star salaries" we might be able to go to more movies.


I though Mary Steenbergen and Sam Elliott stole the movie in some ways - they were so cool and wise. Mary looks damn good too!


A feel good afternoon. Well it was until we walked back into the foyer and there were snakes, a baby crocodile and an owl waiting there.Not for me, I hope!  A woman was standing near a table with a large snake entwined about her. On the table was a display block upon which sat a very quiet owl. At the other end of the table, another woman stood holding a baby crocodile, upon which she kept a very firm hold of its shut jaws. At least I tried to imagine that she had a firm grip on the crocodile. Reptiles are not my thing so I didn't ask any who, what, where questions. Last time we went to the movies they had baby goats. I sense a theme going on here! Life is full of surprise and discovery, I guess!






Sunday, January 3, 2010

murderous crows


A murder of crows woke me this morning. I think it was unfair, for there were many of them and only one of me.
Someone should tell nature not to make a noise until 10 am on a Sunday morning,

you shouldn't get to 50 to learn this





Growing old is inevitable


Be open about your age. You don’t have to broadcast it via electronic media (ok, I may have) , but don’t deny your age either. You will still die on the day you die no matter if you pretend you are 42 and 3 months….. when you are 92.


      Your teeth wont fall out on the pillow over night – usually. However, look after them, as they need to be with you until the end!


      You can get some great gifts on milestone birthdays – maybe it is the sympathy vote, who knows, or cares. Show other people how to do it with style. Plan a series of events, not just one party with a bang. Lots of smaller intimate events nourish the soul.


      Thank anyone who acts surprised when they hear that you are turning 50. If it is a male thank him twice!


      Lighten your hair color gradually. There is no worse give away than jet black hair on an aging dame. It makes one look older not younger. If your hair doesn’t start to grey, offer thanks to the god of genes!


      Same goes for make-up and nail polish. We need style as we age not colour drama.  Leave Technicolor nightmares to those that are still learning – and may they still enjoy.


      Two wrongs don’t make a right.


      Don’t give up your dreams and plans. You have at least 30 more years to achieve things, so plan what to do with them.


      Go quietly sometimes. It refreshes and nourishes you


      Be noisy sometimes. It refreshes and nourishes you.


      Continue learning – something, anything. Get a degree, taking up whittling, or whistling or whatever takes your fancy but keep your interests alive.


      Love the skin you are in. It has served you well. Eat well, drink plenty of water and moisturize. Cover up in the sun, use sunscreens and wear sunglasses and a hat outside – slip slop slap!


      Don’t live through your children. Live beside your children.


      Appreciate the partner you are with. Just that, appreciate the partner you are with.


      Travel


      Read


      Listen


      Debate


      Consider


      Have regular massages. We have a home massage service, so I can burn my favorite oils, play my favorite music and not have traffic hassles afterwards, thus prolonging the mellow feelings. It is one of life’s little joys. Stops me from eating my young.


      Learn to say “I don’t know”


      Get a good hair cut. This is important no matter what age you are.


      Don’t expect your partner to do all the work on anniversaries, or Valentine’s day. It is equal opportunity relationships now!


      You will have to remember all his relatives’ birthdays and send Christmas cards to his friends. He may not even remember your birthday.


      Plan your retirement.  It is going to happen one day, make sure you get to do it the way that you would like to!


      Make a will. Ensure the things that are important to you happen (the children go to your family, not his) and that sentimental or valuable things go to the people that you want them to.


      Walk – go outside into the world.


      Spend time with children


      Find the name of a good physiotherapist and establish a relationship, so that when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t move they will slot you into an early appointment.


      Never underestimate the power of the gift of a single flower, or a telephone call to someone who is having a bad day. Ok, sms then!


      Get eye glasses as soon as you need them. You don’t know what you are missing until you can see clearly again!


      Let go of people who bring you no good. Care for the ones that do.


      Remember other people’s birthdays – it is the one day THEY alone get to be special. Unless they are a twin or triplet, then remember all of them, invite them over for beer and pretzels!


      Get flu vaccinations


      Spend money on a good pillow and a good mattress. Lack of either can ruin your life.


      Don’t  a. ask a woman when she is going to have a baby, or b. ask a woman when her baby is due unless she is on the way to the hospital. Avoiding both can save you much embarrassment.


      Learn to say no and mean it. Balance it with saying yes when it works for you.


      Don’t be afraid to say “You have no right to speak to me that way” be it at home or work. Remember the same works the opposite way.


      Treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself.


      Don’t bitch about someone on the work email. Some people have been known to stupidly cc the subject in on the email and have to explain their opinion away as a brain fade or early senility (ok, ok I confess, it was me, so at least learn from my mistake and make my pain worthwhile!)


      If you don’t know if it is his wife or his niece, speak in the abstract


      If a family member leaves their partner, speak cautiously until the divorce is finalized and they have remarried, as they often reconcile and remember everything you said and nothing they said!


      Some days you will get the good parking spot, some days you wont


      There will be days when the upside will be rolling into the fetal position in a corner and humming to yourself between sobs.


      Some days you will call your child by the incorrect name


      No matter how much you love your pet, it will die one day. Often sooner than you expect.


      Respect the old – they did it all before you!


      Return things that you borrow.


      Be thoughtful about whom you sleep with. You are worth it!


      You will have more than one career in life. Some you will choose, some will choose you and some will be necessity. Eventually you will end up where you are meant to be.


      Marriage is more than a ring and a wedding day. Think past the wedding day.


      Laugh as much as you can. Laugh with others, not at them! Laugh alone. Enjoy your own private thoughts!


      Blog – it brings the world too you, and opens the way for the most amazing people to enter your life.

choices


alas and alack, yes

To be or not to be may be the question, but my parents never asked me.

can you, would you, should you





I have found the perfect way to say NO.  Whenever someone asks me to do something and I don’t want to, I can say no, but I always feel pressured into giving a reason and blurt out something stupid like “Oh I would really like to, but I am helping to parcel grass clippings for the sacred cows in India that night. You've heard about the drought in India haven’t you?” They know I am lying and I know I am lying. It works, but  it tarnishes my cool woman image. Stuttering and blubbering like an idiot does that to one I fear. HOWEVER, I have the solution, Holmes. Now when they ask “Can you donate blood today as my sister is having open heart surgery and only your blood is a match” I turn to them and looking stricken I reply “Alas I can not do that” and exit as smoothly and as fast as possible, or if cornered I  rustle paper and look busy. End of story. No false alibi. I have practiced my best stricken look in the bathroom mirror for a good 7 minutes so have it down pretty well now. I only look ever so slightly as though someone has just popped a stick up my bottom and is waving me about like a sausage on a stick, now. They are so taken aback by the drama of it all and the Shakespearian tone of my words, that they just sort of wander away, mumbling “she said alas, did she really say alas? Who says alas these days?” Less is more, give up fake alibis.


 [except I would give blood. If  I was the only match and you needed blood, I would. A pint, maybe two. After that you are on your own. Make do.]

rule book

I am starting to think that I got the wrong rule book for this life. Everyone else seems to be playing to a different set of rules and I am the only one without the amendments glued in the front of my rule book.  Like I thought being nice to your fellow beings was not an option, it was just something that you did. Treat others the way that you would like to be treated yourself. Simple. It appears to have a lot of ifs and buts attached to it, and if it should cost you a slither of effort, or a nanosecond of time it is viewed as an optional extra. I am the first person to say that being nice is exhausting. It does take effort sometimes, but fair is fair. If I want nice, I have to give nice out. Did I miss boot camp or  something? When did the rules changes?

it's just a step to the left




On April 10th 1871 a one-legged dancer billed as Signor Donato made his dancing debut at the Theatre Royal, Melbourne.The Argus Newspaper commented: "The performance is clever, considering his unfortunate defect...With two legs he would no doubt be an excellent dancer"

going to the hounds


The house next door is dogsitting their daughter's dog. At least I hope they are only minding it and haven't had it foisted upon them forever as it often the case with the pets of children. It appears to bark every time I roll over in bed. Which I have done a lot tonight. The stupid thing must be possessed and the mere rustle of my bed sheet makes it howl. It may even be demonic. Demonic Dog takes over family suburb tomorrow's, make that today's, newspaper headline will scream. My head is screaming right now. Pain shooting through it. I need a cup of tea and a guillotine. The jury is out on whether the guillotine will be for me or the dog yet. Right now the dog is leading the vote count.
Husband had a dog once. Well he has had a dog twice. Once as a young child, aged about 8 years,  when they lived in country New South Wales he had a dog. The parents (I say the parents not his parents diliberately) has been living apart and had decided to reconcile and move to Queensland. So one morning his mother called him to go with one of the local men and take the dog with him. Off they went into the bush - where the man shot the dog in front of my husband! What mother sends their young child off to see their pet dog shot?
Fast forward 15 years to  time husband is at university and living away from home. He and friend lived in a shared house and they had a shared pet dog. Well it really belonged to his friend but they all loved the dog, named Tails. The two guys were going to backpack around New Zealand for a month and so asked the parents to dogsit while they  were gone. All appeared well. However when they returned they were told that Mummy dearest had put an ad in the paper and given the dog away. To a man from the country with small children who wanted a dog. No name no details so dog could not be reclaimed. Except I am of the opinion it got the silver bullet treatment and Mummy Dearest lost her nerve in the face of the friend and invented the "gone to live in the country" story. The guys were devastated and if they had none it was an issue never would have left the dog there...to this day the friend is the first person to join me in the Let's hate the old woman sessions I hold on a regular basis. Every time we see a cute black and white dog husband says sadly "It's just like Tails". How he never turned out to be a drug fiend or serial murderer with parents llike his I have no idea. He is living proof that good can come from evil.
Anyway, Houseguest Dog is in serious danger of reading its details in the paper shortly.
Possessed dog with supernatural hearing seeks home in the country.
Either that or I am going to leave a trail of dog biscuits all the way to the freeway and it can hop a semi-trailer interstate for its own good.
Now pass me the guillotine, Antoinette, I have a headache to deal with.




My inside listen to me, the greatest spirit,
The teacher is near,
Wake up, wake up,

Run to his feet –
he is standing close to your head right now,
You have slept for millions and millions of years
Why not wake us this morning?
                       Kabir

are you looking at me?








Do you have a go to photo? A go to photo is an up to date, clear, head and shoulders photo of you that, heaven forbid, if anything should happen to you, should you disappear, that your nearest and dearest can give to the police or media to assist in identifying or finding you.
I have been thinking about this lately. I think it is important. If left to my family they would give that ugly photo of me sleeping with my mouth half open and drool creeping down my chin that my husband took when he first got his new camera. I know he would not miss the opportunity to publicly humiliate me.
I fear that one look at such a photo and the public are going to decide that I will be no loss to humanity and leave me lost. They may even be grateful that I am no longer out there to frighten small children.

It may be harder to to obtain than I feared......

is that a chin that you have there, or are you just happy to see me?




Being ill recently has given me down time to think about serious things. To plan changes. A journey of self discovery. I have a double chin.

This wasn't really a sudden discovery. I  didn't rise from the bed and look in the mirror to scream in horror at the sight of my own features. Well, no more than usual anyway. I have always had a double chin. Even when I was 20 years old and weighed 50 kgs. It is a genetic thing. Runs in the family. Anyway, a little extra weight and it has grown just a tweak. Maybe two tweaks. Ok it looks as though while everything else went south for the war that my 2nd set of love handles went north and settled under my jaw bone. So I am considering doing the following exercises.

Exercises for Double Chin

Everyone can correct the form and size of their chin by doing facial exercises. The secret of these exercises is that they strengthen the muscles, lift the skin and reduce under-chin fat. When you do these exercises regularly, that is once or twice daily, you can feel the first results after two weeks. And here are the exercises:
  • Sit down straight. Tilt your head back. Pull down the neck skin with your hand collarbone-high and keep holding so while you are exercising. Then pull your lower jaw forward and press your lips together. Hold in this position for 2 seconds. Then release for another two seconds and repeat again. Make 30 repetitions daily. You will feel the neck muscles and skin stretching. One doing this exercise looks like a fish in an aquarium.
  • Lie on your back with straight legs and hands on the floor near your thighs. Press your chin to your chest and hold in this position for 2 seconds. Then slowly tilt your head back, then again slowly press your chin to you chest. Make 25 repetitions.
  • Lie on your back with straight legs and hands on the floor near your thighs. Lift your head up, so that your chin is the highest point of the head, hold it for 2 seconds, then slowly release and lay your head down. Make 30 repetitions. You should feel your neck skin stretch.
What do you think? I really like the first exercise where they suggest that I pull down the neck skin and then pull the jaw foward and press my lips. If the wind changes I will look like I am constantly constipated. The description also reminds me vaguely of the old man who lives down the street, a most unattractive man. I am not sure if I will risk it after all as it may not actually improve my already beautiful features....I can always use the extra fat to keep warm this winter.