horrors in the night

My hair lives a life of its own. I think it goes out partying at night.

 

I can have the smartest do, cemented into place within an inch of its life, when going to bed, but no matter how carefully I sleep at night, when I wake in the morning I look like Phyllis Diller's ugly step sister. My hair just stands on end. No matter how long or how short it just wants to go " hey fellas the party is ove here!" and stand on end.

 

I worry that one night our house will catch on fire and when the fire men come to rescue me and carry me out through the smoke and flames, that they will eventually see my hair and turn around and return me right into the buring inferno. Or at the very least request trauma therapy after wards. Probably both.

 

My husband says that it is ok because they will leave him behind also. He sleeps naked - imagine a short, obese, hairy guy, who is bald on top, Not a pretty sight. When he sleeps his hair goes into two little tufts on the side, like little horns. We are a most unattractive couple in the night.

 

I think I am going to lobby for the fashion of night caps to come back. It is my only hope of rescue.